If the Happy Spot wrote books:

Android:
• "Happy-Spot to English Illustrated Dictionary"
• "I Don't GIVE a Shit!!"
• "Cooking With Gas (and other automotive fluids)"
• "*CRUNCH!* The Idiot's Guide to PC Repair"
• "Zen and the Art of Telling People to Shut the (*&# Up."
• "'Android's Guide to Truly Good Music', OR,
  'What the HELL was THAT?!'"
• "How to Dismantle and Re-assemble Your Car for NO REASON', OR,
  'Volkswagens are for Pussies. Volkswagens are for You.'"
• "Why Can't Uri Geller Fix My Car?! And other burning mysteries.."
• "Android Pet Care Series: Care and Breeding of Zogs"

Garote:
• "The Top 100 Obscenities to Exclaim While Assembling Your Custom PC"
• "'Satellite Tuning is Easier Than You Think', OR
  'Better Television Through Screwdrivers'"
• "If My Music Makes You Feel Creepy Then Get the Hell Out of My Room"
• "AAAiyyyaMM CRAP TEE-VAH: Voice Synthesis and Eternal Damnation"
• "High-Tech Weaponry in the Aquisition of a UCSC Parking Space"
• "You can't open a new box ... until you've feenished the last box!"
• "'How NOT To Go About Being Vegan, in Ten Simple Steps', OR
  'Blue Garote Needs Food-- Badly!'"
• "ATDT4764945: A survivor's tale"
• "Where the Red Fern REALLY Grows"
• "Living as a Manic-Depressive Passive-Aggressive Hypoglycemic Hypersensitive Bipolar Introverted Masochist Lecher, and Relishing Every Second Of It."

Ace:
• "What the hell are these little squiggly things anyway: A Practical Guide to Kanji"
• "Self improvement through IGNORING EVERYONE ELSE"
• "Altering time and space for fun and profit: A Photoshop User's Manual"
• "Simplicity Made Simple (the way things OUGHT to be)"
• "Just Leave Me Alone, I'm Not Like You: A comparative study in cross-cultural personality disorders"
• "'GOD DAMN! I JUST FIXED THAT!': Life as a QA Engineer"
• "Arekusu's guide to playing the same three chords over and over: Music the Shonen Knife Way"
• "MERCIFUL BUDDHA! - 1001 Great Kung-Fu Quotes"
• "How to hook up damn near anything to your IIgs monitor (includes free duct tape!)"
• "Monkeys Everywhere! A guide to living in modern society"

Zog:
• "You Fucking Dick: A layman's guide to not being an invasive pest every waking moment of the day"
• "I Ain't Gots a Quarter for Yo' Bitchazz, or: haven't-bathed-in-five-weeks-odor asphyxiation blackout strategies. (New! Inner urban edition!)"
• "Tastes Like Chicken -- one man's first-hand account of eating everything in sight, and more"
• "Slobber on My Pants Cyclops Slave: a practical guide to assimilating yourself within the gay-bi-les community"
• "Shit Ass Motherfucking Goddamn Christ Piss: a transcribed autobiography"
• "'Shit this thing's heavy!' OR
  'Disposing of dead bodies in ten fun, easy steps.'"
• "From Congo to Antarctica: A case history of people who stay in the shower too long."
• "Really Offensive Ways to Pee (BONUS: Includes handy illustrated reference card!)"
• "The Cleese Claims It Is Sharp, Right On It's Label, But I Believe It Is Deceiving Me."

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