folk:
folk:
"A smile is the top of a long, tangled tube leading to AN ANUS." -Zog
"I ignore pain. Why should I pay attention to pain? The only thing it ever does for me is hurt." -Stygian
"Playing god's easy. It's winning that's hard." -Garote
"If THIS is the best damned country in the world, I WANT OFF OF THIS PLANET" -Android on america
"I am tired of being surrounded by PunxTM who scratch their nuts, watch TV and drink beer! What ever happened to having REAL FUN??? Am I supposed to be maturing and accepting the fact that all my friends and associates are becoming boring slabs? This will not do." -Zog
"how come my 15 line c++ program compiles to nearly 300k of code? Is this what you call 'bigger & better'???" -Ace in his C++ class
"I have to be cooking with my mom, you see... Gotta make sure the turkey can't stand up and say 'Hello.'" -silk, around Thanksgiving
"That was one of the things that worried me about me and her; I was always: 'Are these emotions genuine or am I just horny?' " -Skot
"People work because they have to. That's all. Given the opportunity, many people would spend their whole life watching "The Real World" and having pizzas delivered to their house." -Android
"What we really like is "Body Odor". The natural smell. The healthy smell. The active smell. Mmmmmm, now, that's what we want. Men aren't into having sex with a flower, you see." -Umbrella
"Pretty soon microsoft's products will have expiration dates, I swear."
"What do you mean? They already do! Windows 95!" -Commodore Phil Photon and Garote
"I don't have the time!"
"Well what do you do with all your time?"
"I told you!! I don't HAVE ANY!" -Stygian making himself clear to Garote
"College is a mass of information. It is the professor's job to prove to you exactly how boring it can be made. Once you have realised this fact, a fancy piece of paper is given to you. You hang this piece of paper on the wall and show to the world that you are sick of information and no longer have a child-like will to learn. Then you die." -Android
"Lots of things are better than sex, I think. Like having four limbs, for instance, or having nice, big boots. Yeah! Or donuts... or not." -Zog, pre mating-season
"It's a lot of fun acting like a loony." -Stygian
"we must speak to feed the tree of knowledge until it blossoms and THANK GOD THEN WE CAN STOP." -Mark Hedges
"Its like dirt; dirt can become mud and dirt can become topsoil, but dirt cannot become a photograph of Elvis." -Armored Saint of XBBS
"Don't fight fire with fire. Fuckin STOMP on it." -Garote feeling vengeful
"Yeah, right; they try to upgrade my prescription now, the government will stop them due to restrictions on lenses for Class IV burning and cutting lasers...." -Commodore Phil Photon, on getting better glasses
"No, no, no, I said "Kill YOURSELF", not "KILL THE DJ"." -Zog, addressing his radio-show fans
"I don't know who my 'perfect match' would be, I seriously doubt such a person is even capable of existing without them having paradoxical personality conflicts that would rapidly drive them insane." -Garote on 'true love'
"It has been proven many times over that the best programmers are built on coffee and fritos. Unfortunately, these same programmers have asses the same shape as their chairs." -Android
"Romping, Stomping! Boom boom boom." -Zog describing himself
"Yernisísken, yornipúrtski de bork bork bork bork" -Stygian, for unknown reasons
"You haven't lived until you've had a woman topless over a cisco router." -Phil Photon
"All the bootleg philosophy in the world won't get a monkey off your back. It takes the sweats." -Garote speaking of personal change
"Ick. There's something REALLY perversely disgusting in the sight of a twelve or thirteen year old girl, reading a romance novel... AND SUCKING HER THUMB." -Skot working in the library
"Yes. It's true. There is a man named Al P. Freundorfer. He's Canadian." -Torrey doing secretarial work
"Man, I bet some guy had fun stretching those splines..." -Ace, scrutinizing an RPG-woman's rendered chest
"I was just flipping through the latest copy of "Newsweek", and it suddenly struck me that the fact the president got a beautiful woman half his age to sleep with him, despite the risks, actually raises my opinion of him by a great deal." -Skot reflecting on Bill Clinton
"For me, programming is like an orgasm; It happens in spurts." -Android at work