Things to do in Santa Cruz County:

• Go to Denny's
• Go to a coffe shop
• Go bowling
• Have a campfire at the beach
• Go swimming
• Go on a bike ride
• See a movie
• Go somewhere in drag
• Take some musical instruments downtown and make a lot of disorganized noise.
• Go visit people in Davis
• Stare at things
• Climb trees
• Kill things and bury them, rituals and all
• Dig up the things you buried last week (rituals and all)
• Have a picnic in the fog up Hwy 101. (aaaaaaaahhhh..... *thud*)
• Wait for your hair to grow so you can shave it off again, ooh ooh fun
• Wait for Scorns' next album (less one track)
• Climb the big chalk-rock hill up behind Brad's old house, then sliiiiiiide down
• Wade into the San Lorenzo river with bleeding sores all over your body, then see what happens
• Have your friends visit you in the hospital
• Catch "disease of the week" at the Saturn Café
• Beat up cops and take all their cool stuff
• Wander around 'till the cops pick you up for violating curfew. (trust me, it's a riot)
• Attempt to infiltrate big computer companies. Fail.
• Infiltrate their dumpsters instead. Find only lawn clippings.
• Try to outwit sleep by drinking a LOT of coffee
• Go to 7-11, consume an entire Double Gulp before it goes flat. Get your friends to help!
• Go to the hills behind Night Owl's house. Roll down them. (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.... *thud*)
• Dig holes in the ground near UCSC, try to find the opium dens
• Dig holes in the ground near UCSC, claim they're caves and organize a spelunking team.
• Dig holes in the ground around UCSC, formally invite the regents to come fall in them (by invitation).
• Go to your nearest High School campus at noon. Pass out flyers about Bob.
• Make fun of your younger siblings who have no concievable hope of escaping this county
• Waste a lot of money in the Boardwalk Arcade
• Flirt with the valley chicks who hang out on the Boardwalk Beach (near the bathrooms)
• Don a red swimsuit- try to isinuate yourself into a Juinor Lifeguards class.
• Start a band, perform highly attended shows, because nothing cultural EVER happens here
• Formally break up the band, then reform it again out of desparation, changing only the name. (repeat)
• Meet people downtown, compare them to characters from "Slacker". Write a paper about it. Get scholarship.
• Hop in your car and drive around the back roads until your tank is half empty. Then drive back!
• Forage for dead bodies around the Highway 1 beaches
• Play solitaire on the computer until Windows crashes. (repeat)
• Go... GOTHIC!
• Walk around the Bethany Bible College campus (as a goth). Blow minds. Get mistaken for ANGELS.
• Volunteer at... uh, what's that radio station? I've never even listened to it.
• Borrow a video camera and construct an elaborate play. Begin filming it badly, then never finish it.
• Rent a porno flick. Laugh at it.
• Visit your SO at work. Ask them, in front of everybody, to do some explicit sexual thing to you.

By Zog and Garote