See how much you are like Garote!
Can you cook a thai-style yellow curry?
... without looking at a recipe?
Are you heterosexual, but appreciate attractiveness in all forms of the human body?
As a geek, do you disregard fashion, and have a near-complete disregard for your personal appearance?
Do you wash your hands mostly to keep your tools clean?
Do you dislike most christian organizations?
Are you a secular humanist?
... and a hard-line atheist beneath that?
(There is no 'spiritual realm' of any kind)
... do you enjoy a good haunted-house flick regardless?
Do you have a Shabbos event every Friday, spiritual reasons aside?
Do you like cats?
Can you comunicate with them?
(Friends call me the 'cat-whisperer')
Can you make a purring noise like one?
Have you owned an Apple II?
Did the abandonment of the Apple II by Apple turn you into a PC person for a while?
Have you named all of your computers?
(Loaf, Tin-Loaf, LapLoaf, Loaflet, Tune Loaf)
Have you programmed your computer?
Have you hacked apart games on it?
... cheated by editing saved games or making a map editor?
Have you played Nethack?
... over a modem?
Do you do your best work in private, 24-hour hacking sessions?
Have you ever played one computer game for FORTY HOURS straight?
(the game: the original 'Civilization'. ADDICTIVE.)
Did you watch The Lion King more than four times in theatres?
... did you find the character of Nala to be very attractive?
Do you listen to Download?
... Pink Floyd?
... Tori Amos?
... Pete Namlook et al?
... Meat Beat Manifesto?
Do you know the words to the Residents' "Walter Westinghouse"?
Have you ever yelled said lyrics with a friend at the top of your lungs while rocking back and forth on a big log floating in the middle of a lake in the mountains?
(Trust me, it's performance art)
Could you be considered "surgically attached" to your ipod?
... has your music collection surpassed its 60GB capacity?
Do you have rythm?
... but no drum kit?
Do you love pounding on the piano?
... but don't own one?
Do you own and play a cheap classical guitar?
Has your digital camera turned you into a shutterbug with delusions of quality?
Can you sing in a Louis Armstrong voice?
Can you speak in a southern twang?
Can you do a Cockney accent?
Are you a sucker for redheads with freckles?
... with well-articulated forearms and hands?
... and heaving bosoms?
Have you ever found the
of someone to be erotic?
Have you ever blown up an aerosol can in a fire?
Ever used a lit road flare, held in a glove, as a torch on a walk?
(You need the glove. They drip burning wax. If you get any on your hair you have to cut the hair off.)
Ever run with a can of gasoline, leaving a trail of fire?
At night, when you can, do you piss outside on the road or in the bushes, instead of using the toilet?
Have you maintained a vegan diet - except for honey - for two or more years?
Have you ever participated in a "Human Advanture Game", where one person emulates an Infocom-style parser, and others give 'commands'?
Ever drained a 7-11 "Double Gulp" by yourself?
... before it went flat?
(whooog. I don't drink these any more!!)
Have you owned a comprehensive Stephen King collection?
... did you manage to finish the uncut version of The Stand?
On a road-trip, have you driven more than 1000 miles in one day?
Do you have a picture of the Church of the Subgenius's BOB on your wall?
Do you enjoy bike rides or walks at night?
Have you ever felt, and then acted upon, the sudden urge to run outside and howl at the moon?
Does your body like to get up at noon, despite your valiant attempts to teach it otherwise?
Isn't this whole red-states vs. blue-states thing just a bunch of divisive crap?
Do you believe that mind-altering drugs
erode and distort one's perception of 'true reality'?
Do you like camping?
Have you ever lived out of a converted van, for more than a month?
Have you ever shaved your head?
... habitually enough to have "OI!!" yelled at you?
... at the request of a SO?
Have you ever grown your hair longer than shoulder length?
Have you ever shaved your legs to see what it was like?
(i.e. for fashion or sporting reasons doesn't count)
... in order to play a role on stage?
... I assume the role was Doctor Frank'n'Furter?
Have you ever shaved your genetalia, at the request of a SO?
Do knick-knacks drive you crazy?
Do you think that hunting is an idiotic sport, but that target-practice is not?
Did you suffer from cystic acne as a teenager?
Do you hate the feel of makeup?
Are you part of a lousy band?
... could it be classified as "Industrial Humor"?
Have you and friends made a home-movie with a descernible plot?
Do you eat bell peppers like apples?
Is broccoli your favorite vegetable?
Do you dislike the taste of beer?
Do you hate all perfume?
Do you find Cable TV to be a soul-sucking monster?
Do you think marijuana - in fact, most drugs - should be legalized, stiffly regulated, and heavily taxed?
Does your mind watch itself?
Do you think socrates was just kind of blabbing about obvious things?
Do you try hard to avoid physical violence with other people?
... but enjoy wrassling on the floor with your friends?
Do you own a Mac, but mostly because it runs OS X?
Was there a lot of depression in your childhood?
... did you learn to manage, exploit, and finally conquer it?
... do you think it gave you wisdom and understanding?
Do you find small, private weddings more your style?
Have you seen first-hand how the vast differences between individuals can dwarf any difference of the sexes?