Garote and Brent's Shadow Warrior Fun-Tour

Page two

Our prolonged dispute over superior battle tactics left us both very fatigued. To relieve our frustrations, Brent and I decided to take a holiday, and cultivate an austere hobby in rabbit farming.

Alas, our pleasant interlude soon turned sour, when Brent developed a seething jealousy for the sexually rampant little buggers, and blew them all to kingdom come.

I had to calm him down a little after that.>;)

After the collapse of our rehabilitating business venture, Brent and I decided to seek enrichment through the modern miracle of computers. Far from an inspiring journey of empowerment, our stint in geeking was a relentless nightmare of inebriated software and pointless, expensive hardware upgrades. Witness what happened when we tried to install a new version of DirectX:

We had tried fluffy bunnies, and we had tried computers. What else is there? Brent and I had a long, heart-to-heart chat. Disillusioned with the sham that is modern life, we made a pact to end each others' suffering. In a game like Shadow Warrior this is a tricky proposition, but we took to the task with our usual zeal.

.	Garote	Brent
1	"Fire when ready!"	"Okay, here goes!"
2	"Aaaaaagghh!"	"Aaaaaagghh!"

Unfortunatly, our best efforts in suicide merely teleported us back to the beginning of the level. Doh. (Remember, kids, Brent and I are seasoned professionals. We suggest that you consult with a parent or teacher before you dismember yourself and a friend with the gun turret of a submarine. Safety first!)

Our failure wasn't for lack of trying. Anything that had a trigger, we fired. Anything that had a fuse, we detonated. Anything with a warning label, we misused. We figured this stockpile would do the trick.

Nope. No matter how thoroughly we managed to distribute our bloodied fragments across the levels, we always rematerialized at square one.

Brent and I took stock of the situation. We had descended into nihilism and found no satisfaction in it. Perhaps we should return to mere anarchy, I proposed. Anarchy is always a surprise.

Brent liked the idea. His first act of anarchy was to relieve himself in some handy plastic foliage. After a brief rest period, it was business as usual. We hopped back to level 1 to fulfill the final Fun-Tour tradition:

Here we've joined forces to thoroughly abuse the mirror we took our group photo in. >;)

And that's it! Hope you enjoyed the tour!