Put to music: "Record being burned" sample made by AndyM and Garote, sped up, twanging into a discoey hip-hop beat with a snare that is a chop of straight white noise, a wind-watch 'tick' sample, double layered, for a hi-hat, and the "spring drum" sample off the first track of Einsturzende's "Tabula Rasa" album, for a base drum, distorted at each fill in.

This is my rap, I'm glad to say
I wrote it in two minutes yesterday!
I see you think rap is hard to do
I also see you ain't got a clue!

Get a drum machine to hit at your side
Get a bass synthesizer that's big and wide
Get your cheap microphone an' your yellin' voice
Once it's out on the shelves you can buy a Rolls Royce!

These fancy new cars I couldn't understand
I barely do nuthin', but I got lots of fans!
Bunch o' silly people jumpin' up an' down
At least this rappa's got his feet on the ground

I got a business sense an' that's all ya need!
Who cares about talent? There's none that I can see!
I'm just givin' kids a real good time
Jumpin' up and down to these ludicrous rhymes!

Flipper flap jack under ugly green snout,
kill big pink bunnies hopping highly in doubt,
obtuse convalescent disrespectful green pants,
now flap yer arms in the chicken dance!

Banana ram slippin under evil dance floor,
up the waterspout on your big back door,
havin second thoughts with a second look,
uncouth horseradish of an asinine crook!

Squeezing pink pastries is a pain in the rear!
Stuck tennis fumble horizontal in your beer!
Clip my chicken catchatorie in some foreign church!
If I ever have to make up rhymes on the spot again,... I'll VOMIT!

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