From android Wed Apr 19 21:35:05 1995

OH my HOLY FUCKING "BOB" the CRASH WORSHIP concert was the MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE of my MEASLY LIFE SO FAR. If they come back here, you should FLY, JOG, or HITCHHIKE to california to come to it.

Imagine This: A club atmosphere kind of like The Edge, except cooler. LOTS of people. The place has an upstairs and downstairs, and during the opening acts, people are wandering all over the place. From the first note that Crash Worship plays, EVERYBODY comes downstairs and CRAMS onto the dance floor in front of the stage. People with the band are throwing FLOUR, FAKE BLOOD, GALLONS OF WINE, SELTZER WATER, FRUIT SYRUP, A MILLION OTHER THINGS, and HOSING EVERYBODY on the floor as they play this Primal, Tribal kind of music, except including an electric guitar. EVERYBODY starts moving all over the place, and even if you relax your muscles, you still get moved all over the place, and you don't fall over because everyone is crammed in TOO MUCH! If you DO succeed in falling over, everybody around rushes to pick you up. People are crowd surfing, people are taking off their clothing.

Then, about a half-hour into the show, some BEAUTIFUL 18-20 year old exotic dancers come out on the stage and start stripping to the music. THIS prompts everyone in the CROWD to strip! Everyone (except for a few feebs who were wearing leather jackets and didn't know what the hell was going on) is almost COMPLETELY NAKED, SOAKED, and SLIPPERY, and we're all SLIDING OFF OF EACH OTHER on this dance floor feeling one another and basically just COMPLETELY LETTING GO to the music! Once the strippers are down to their panties, they get right to the edge of the stage and let the people in the front feel them.. Some of them crowd surf.. One of them CAME on my HAND! :) Everybody naked, dancing around to some really cool music, some feeling sexual, some just there for "human bonding", everybody is completely cool.. People feeling you all over, you feeling other people all over, and NOBODY is in control! The floor of that place was COATED with this evil muck by the time the show ended, Zoggie and I had only our jackets, pants and shoes by the time we were walking out the door, and those were REALLY hard to keep! Next time I go to one of these, I'm just wearing shorts and boots. That's it. If I had the money, I would become a "Crashhead" and just follow them around going to their shows.. ACK@! IT was SO FUCKING COOL!!

I i II I i I J jUSt WISH I could conVEY even A fRaCTIOn of how AWESOME it was! I cannot.. Take everything that I've said here, multiply its coolness by about 1,237,629, and that's not even HALF as cool as it was! I can't believe I had a chick SPUMING all over my hand- AT A FRIGGIN' CONCERT! I would still be there RIGHT NOW if the concert went on for that long! I would LIVE there! I would NEVER SLEEP.. DAMN, I wish life was always that much fun! I wish everyone ALWAYS felt that FREE to just LET GO! Some dude smacked his head into my mouth on accident and cut my lip, and I DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT! He could've turned around and TORN MY LIPS OFF, and I STILL wouldn't have cared! It was TOO MUCH INCREDIBLE FUN for me to give a damn about measly things like TORN OFF LIPS!

They had this billowing smoke machine, and, oh yeah, the strippers were also fire-eaters! They kept blowing fire all over the place and tossing huge packages of firecrackers into the crowd, and making these HUGE GOUTS of flame appear right at the edge of the stage, singing everybody's eyebrows and making them move back (for about 2 seconds..) I spent a good half of the show with that one girl, though.. Oh.. OH.... OHH!.!>.. *KABOOM!!*

(Android is glad that he kept his fingernails trimmed before the concert..)


From android Wed Apr 19 21:51:17 1995

That show was SO INCREDIBLE.. I can't STOP thinking about it.. I don't WANT to..! I want to experience it a THOUSAND TIMES more! Is there any way that I could find out about where else they play? CRash WorSHIP newsletter, fan club, urinal graffiti? I would drive to southern California to see them again! That was not only worth the $5, not only worth $10, but I would value it at more than $50! What a "Bob"-lovin' bargain THAT was! Thanks to YOU, I got to take advantage of a 90% discount (over Android Suggested Retail Price.) I want them to play at my WEDDING (If I have one) AND my FUNERAL!! That was WAY cooler than I expected it to be, and I thought I was expecting quite a bit! The smoke, the fire, the nudity, the slipperiness, the FOOD products, the new Mousse substitute we discovered, the funny goth guy sitting on the sidewalk, the ability to know what it's like to REALLY LET GO, and have EVERYBODY ELSE DO IT, TOO! I think the world would be a happier place if people could just let go like that any time they liked! The CON wouldn't exist, that's for sure!

Pipe dreams. :)

SO, all I can do is live it myself.. You were right. Crash Worship HAS changed my life.. I was listening to some music that I really liked today, but it just WITHERED and sounded THOROUGHLY FEEBLE compared to the ALL-AROUND EXPERIENCE of last night! Now I gotta go slave and allow the con to steal my memory of that glorious thing called CRASH WORSHIP.. :(


Like Zoggie said to me at the concert; Crash Worship is a hit-or-miss thing. Half of the people here will be ecstatic and have the time of their lives, and the other half will leave disgusted, unable to BELIEVE what just happened.. If you're not able to let go at one of their concerts, then you are ANAL and obviously cannot let go of yourself ANYWHERE. (There were a quite a few people who COULDN'T and just kinda stood in the corners, almost sulking..) If you go to one, do NOT bring any clothing you don't want STAINED THOROUGHLY; even Zog's BLACK SHIRT is stained with something. Who KNOWS what it is?!

You know, Zog, I think they had crappy opening acts on PURPOSE to THOROUGHLY CONTRAST what was abou to happen...

Wow... I thought I was going to die of HAVING TOO MUCH FUN. This proved to me that THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE!

Wow.. The only music that I have that gives me any pleasure after that is my DEVO... I'm still bloody RECOVERING.. I'm STILL coming down from that HIGH.. I WILL be for at least the next MONTH...

Crash Worship...

that's what it meant to me.


From zog Sat Apr 22 01:52:46 1995

For the record, my Crash Worship experiences never seem to do anything sexual for me, but rather raise my respect for humanity a bit and make me feel needed and brotherly. Too bad, huh?

If I have to tie all of you up with barbed wire and drag you there, YOU'RE GOING to the next show, you now have no choice. Too bad, huh!

-- Zoggie

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