One day, Stygian, Zog, and Garote were all sitting around at work shooting the bull. It mattered not that they were each working in different cities at the time, for they were equipped with the mythical tool known as E-MAIL. The conversation turned to their residence in Davis, and what life would be like there in the coming months. Without warning, a H.A.G. sprang forth and began to devolve thoroughly. The following was wrought:


Written by Garote 8/29/96 12:17pm

One thing I expect will be a sore point is that I'll have to turn down my music.
In the apartment I'm in now, I sometimes like to play a song LOUD.
With MIke's speakers, this truly is high decibel. I envision a feud erupting when Kathleen comes home looking for a nap and

there are shattering cups here.

>sleep

You can't even close your eyes. The noise rattles them open.
There are more shattering cups here.

>north

GAROTE'S ROOM

Garote is here, staring blankly at the wall.
The stereo is on. The floor has liquefied with the vibrations.
You begin to sink.

>kill garote

You slice a broad smile accross his neck with your fingernails.
He twitches and blood sprays all over the room.
You destroy the Garote! Suddenly the whole planet seems a lot happier!
Welcome to experience level 9.
There is a human corpse named garote here.
The music ceases and your feet become wedged into the floor.

>sleep

You sleep standing up.
You are awakened by a dark-haired athletic looking girl wearing jogging shorts.
She asks where Garote is.

>say "I just killed him. His music was too loud."

Yvonne looks at the corpse and says. "Oh. That's too bad.
I was going to ask him on a date."
Yvonne leaves.
The human corpse named Garote spontaneously combusts and sinks into the floor.

>south

You cannot move. Your feet are wedged into the floor.
Zog ducks under the doorframe and enters the room. He is wearing cutoffs and is covered in syrup and cabbage.

>ask zog to free me

"Oh, sure. That actually happens to me a lot at the clubs."
Zog leaves and returns with a pick-axe.
Zog wields the pick-axe!
Zog begins striking at the floor.

>ask zog why he is so messy

"Brian and I got into a fight, but then we made up." Zog says.
Soon enough you are free.

>thank zog

"Oh, sure, no problem!" says Zog. He ducks back out of the room.

>south

ENTRY HALL
There are laundry dunes here.
There are shattered cups here.
Zog is here, stuck to the couch.
Stygian is here, standing on the mantel.

>west

Your path is blocked by sentient laundry.
Zog struggles to escape the couch.
Stygian swings his foot at the laundry monster.
Stygian hits the laundry monster!
The laundry monster breathes poison gas!
You stagger and your vision blurs...

>south

You weave through the laundry and bash into the front door, closed.
Stygian shouts "YA!" and jumps off the mantle.
Stygian lands on the laundry monster!
Stygian destroys the laundry monster!
Stygian seems more experienced.
Zog manages to detach himself from the couch.

>open door

You yank open the door and are half-buried in packages and fan mail, all addressed to Zog.
"Shit!!" yells Zog.
Zog wields a garden rake!
Stygian is stomping on the laundry monster corpse.

>west

DANK KITCHEN
The sink is covered in dishes. There is a row of cupboards lining the north and west walls.

>open north cupboard

You see thirty cans of sliced pineapple, twenty ramen bars, ten pop tarts, a sock, and two candles.

>open west cupboard

You see Zog's two-foot-long rat, chewing on a severed arm.
You hear an explosion to the east

>east

ENTRY HALL
Garote crawls out of the fireplace, coughing soot.
"What happened?" he says.
Zog is dumping a pile of fan mail into a garbage can.

>say "your music was too loud"

"Again? Shit. Sorry about that." says Garote. He begins dusting himself off.
Stygian enters from the east, dragging a cast-iron laundry basket.
Zog packs the fan mail down into the garbage can with the rake. "Get ... out ... of my ... LIFE!!"

>say "can't you leave it off sometimes?"

"I didn't know you were home. ... And did you have to kill me?" says Garote.
Stygian wields a sabre!
Stygian begins hacking up the laundry monster corpse.
Zog hefts the garbage can and leaves, to the south.

>say "I was a little cranky."

"Oh.." says Garote. He stands up.
You hear screeching tires from outside.

>say "Oh, Yvonne was here while you were dead."

Garote looks horrified. "WHAT?!?"
Stygian tosses the laundry pieces into the iron basket.
Zog walks in from the south, and heads into the DANK KITCHEN

>say "she wanted to ask you on a date or something."

Garote screams piercingly and rams into the northern wall, which he begins clawing.
"Hey, quit tearing up the wall!!" shouts Stygian
From the west, you hear Zog yell "Oh my GOD!!"

>say "watch out for your rat, zach!"

Zog runs in from the west, says "no kidding!", and sprints down the eastern hall.
Garote has stopped clawing the wall and is bunched up in the corner staring with an expression that says "Frankly, I'm shocked!"

>say "well, maybe she'll come back, right?"

Garote doesn't respond.
Ming Yang appears in the front door, carrying a clipboard and a calculator.
"Hellooo, Happy Spot!" he grins.
Stygian makes a wretching face for an instant, and then morphs into smiling Bradley. He strides up to shake Ming's hand.

>say "hello Mr. Yang!" Shake Ming's hand, as cheerfully as possible.

"Hellooo, Brad, Hellooo Kathleen; surprise inspection, ready or not!"
Ming Yang strolls into the room and looks about possessively. "Ooo, laundry monster! Good season!"
Zog runs in from the east, loading shells into an elephant gun. He vaults over the couch, says "Hey, Mr. Yang!" in midair, and goes into the DANK KITCHEN.

>wander slowly over to coffee table.

You walk as nonchalantly as you can to the table, next to which is a huge hole in the rug.
"Couch looks kind of sticky. I'll clean that for you tomorrow." Ming Yang punches a few keys on the calculator and scribbles on the clipboard.
Bradley sees what you're doing and tries to distract Mr. Yang. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

>stand on hole in rug.

You place your feet together right over the massive hole, barely concealing it.
There is a terriffic explosion from the DANK KITCHEN. You hear Zog scream "GODDAMN RAT!"
Mr. Yang whirls around and, impossibly, smiles. "Vermin? In MY residence?" He walks to the west.

>quickly shove the junk on the table under the couch.

You and Bradley push the contents of the coffee table onto the floor and kick it all under the couch.
There is another booming explosion from the west. You hear the squeal of a huge rat, and Zog screaming "DIE, FUCKER!!"
You then hear Ming Yang shout "Hey, no pets allowed here!"

......

Command suggestion by stygian:

> Plot with Bradley to kill Mr. Yang, and prop his corpse so that no one will notice.

Written by Garote 8/29/96 2:03pm

Bradley morphs into stygian, cracks his knuckes enthusiastically and says: "Rad! Let's do it!"
Garote abruptly stands up, says "Oh well, at least I know she's interested", and begins dusting himself off again.
From the west you hear Zog yell "Wait, it's not dead, Mr.Yang!"
You then hear a crunching noise, followed by a scream of pain from Ming Yang.

>say "let's knock him out with the laundry"

Stygian picks up a chunk of the laundry monster corpse. "Good idea."
Ming Yang staggers in from the west, holding his arm out. Zog's rat is hanging by it's teeth from Ming Yang's hand, bleeding from shrapnel wounds.
Zog follows him into the room, fumbling to reload the elephant gun. "Dammit, hold still, Mr.Yang!!"
Garote stares in disbelief.

>pick up a chunk of laundry.

Laundry chunk: taken. WHhhoooie, it stinks!
Stygian wields a laundry corpse chunk!
Stygian makes ready to bean Ming Yang.
Zog stops trying to load the gun and shouts "I told you to HOLD ... STILL!"
Zog wields an elephant gun!
Zog smacks Ming Yang in the back of the head and he crumples to the floor with a yelp.
Zog's rat relinquishes Ming Yang's chewed hand and scrabbles for the door.
"Oh no you don't!" yells Garote.

>Search Ming Yang's pockets

On Ming Yang you find:
A clipboard
A calculator
Glasses
A tacky business suit (stained with rat blood) The suit contains:
Car keys
Apartment keys
Forty thousand dollars in cash
Garote vaults over the couch and lands on Zog's rat.
Garote destroys Zog's rat!
Garote seems more experienced.
Stygian says "That works too, I guess." He tosses his laundry chunk into the iron basket.
Zog says "I thought I got rid of that stupid rat!"

>take forty thousand dollars.

Money: Taken.
Stygian loads the rest of the laundry monster into the iron basket.
Garote dons a pair of red welding gloves.
Zog says "Uh... There's a couple new windows in the kitchen, now, guys."

>say "fix it with this." give money to Zog.

You slap the cash in Zog's hand. Dollar signs appear in his eyes, and a 'ka-ching!' noise is heard.
Zog laughs, tosses the elephant gun on the couch, and says "Yes!! Time to CONSUME!!"
Garote picks up the rat corpse and leaves to the south.
Stygian picks up the iron laundry basket. "Shall we go to the laundry room, dear?" he says.

>

Written by stygian 8/29/96 3:57pm

> take Ming Yang corpse.

You pick up the corpse of the Ming Yang.
Zog sprints to the door and barrels through it, without bothering to open it.
<The Zog leaves>
The Stygian taps his foot irritably. "Are you ready yet?" he asks.

> put Ming Yang in basket

Stygian holds out the iron laundry basket, and you gently drop the corpse into it.
Stygian says "Ah, goody. Now we can go make sure no one notices..." An evil grintm pops onto his face.
Yvonne enters the room, from the south. "Is Garrett back yet?" she asks.

> Look at Yvonne.

Yvonne is here.
She is wearing:
A large sweater.
Stygian looks at his watch. "Oi! Hurry up! I'm going to be late!"

> Tell Yvonne "No. He just left."

Yvonne pouts, and gives you a hurt look.
Yvonne leaves, to the south.
Stygian walks around in circles.

> put elephant gun under couch.

You place the elephant gun underneath the couch.
As your arm goes underneath, you feel a funny sensation.
Stygian pulls out a crayon and starts writing silly messages on the wall.
Garote enters the room, from the south.

> Look under couch.

You lean over and look under the couch.
Under the couch, you see:
Nothing.
Stygian starts singing the death aria from "Carmen".
Garote leaves, to the east.

> Get math book from under couch.

You feel a tingly sensation as you reach your arm under the couch.
You pull out your math book.
Stygian backs up, races toward the wall, and then runs a little ways up it before falling back down.
Garote enters, from the east.
Garote wields a blowtorch!
Garote says "Now I can fix that rat!"

> Go south.

You wander south, through a large, Zog-shaped opening.
STREET
You see a street lined with duplexes, all owned by Ming Yang. The laundry is to the east. Ming Yang's house is to the south. You are in front of your house.
Garote enters, from the north.
Garote grins, and laughs nastily as he turns the blowtorch to "Deep Fat Fry".
Garote leaves, to the west.

> East

You walk down the road, and enter a building.
LAUNDRY
There are many washing machines here, all broken.
There are dryers here, many of which work, but only tumble the clothes, not dry them.
Stygian barrels into the room and crashes into you.
"Stygian here now!" He shouts.
Stygian is holding an iron basket.

Written by garote, 8/30/96 2:16pm

>say "Brad, give me the basket.”

Stygian shakes his head no and attempts to hide the basket behind his back.

>say "Brad, drop the basket.”

Stygian holds the basket behind him and edges toward the corner.
"What basket?" says Stygian innocently.

>say "Brad, put down the basket!"

Stygian backs into the corner with the basket behind him.
"Say please!!" grins Stygian.

>say "No basket, no sex!"

Stygian looks crestfallen. "Aw, you're no fun..." he says.
Stygian drops the basket.

>remove Ming Yang from basket

You haul the corpse of Ming Yang out of the basket and onto the floor.
Stygian reaches into a dryer and pulls out a sock.
Stygian says "Hey, cool! Now where did I put the other one...?"

>dump laundry into washer

You heave the iron basket up and tilt it over a nearby washing machine. The Laundry Monster chunks slide out and clatter into the tub.
Stygian lobs his sock in with the load.
The eastern door opens and Garote enters, leading Zog's rat on a leash.
Garote says "I'll bet you didn't know Zog's rat was cybernetic, did you?"

>say "Oh, Yvonne came by again while you were fixing the rat."

Garote stops and stares at you. "You're KIDDING!" he says, gravely.
Zog's rat drags at the leash, its claws scraping on the tile floor.
Stygian looks at Zog's rat distastefully.

>shut washing machine lid

You slam the lid of the broken washing machine.
Stygian reaches into a dryer again and pulls out a handful of quarters.
Garote, still shocked, says "Uh... What was she wearing?" Zog's rat strains to take a bite out of the corpse of Ming Yang.

>say "Just running shoes and a long sweater, as far as I could tell."

Stygian counts the quarters in his hand.
Garote groans and sways on his feet. Garote looks at Zog's rat. "It's all YOUR FAULT!!"
Garote wields Zog's rat!

>ask brad to put some quarters in the machine.

Stygian glances up and says “Right o!" He drops twelve quarters into the slots.
A button on the machine begins to flash.
Garote growls!
Zog's rat growls!
Garote throws Zog's rat into a dryer!

>push button

Nothing happens.
Stygian says "Uh oh..."
Garote screams!
Garote slams the dryer door!
Zog's rat snarls!

>push button

Nothing happens.
Garote says "YA!!" and kicks the dryer. The dryer starts and begins tumbling Zog's rat.
The leash tied to Garote's hand is being sucked into the dryer.
Zog's rat shrieks!

>kick washing machine

You step back, turn to the side, and whomp the washing machine with all your might.
The machine hitches, burps, and begins to chug.
"All right!" says Stygian.
Zog's rat roars!
Garote's arm, tied to the leash, is slammed against the dryer door.
Garote says "Oh fuck!!"

>west

Stygian follows you.
Garote is stuck to the dryer and cannot follow you.

STREET

Yvonne is here, jogging.

>look Yvonne

Yvonne is sweaty.
Yvonne is wearing:
Running shoes
Jogging shorts
A t-shirt (sweat-stained)
Yvonne dissappears to the west.
From the east you hear Garote scream "No! Wait! Arrrrgghh!! DAMMIT!"

Written by stygian 8/30/96 3:05pm

>east

LAUNDRY

There is a Garote here.
There is a cast-iron laundry basket here.
There is a Corpse named Mr. Yang here.
There is a Zog's Rat here, roaring and tumbling in a dryer.
Yvonne shows up, from the west, again.
Her hair is wet. She looks clean.
She is wearing:
A sweater.

>get basket

[taken] Yvonne looks around for Garote, but he's stuck behind a dryer, so she leaves.
Garote struggles to free himself of the leash.
Garote wields a blowtorch!

>put Mr. Yang in basket.

[taken]
You pick up the corpse, and nonchalantly dump it into the big basket.
The Zog's Rat screams and howls!
Garote attacks the leash!
The leash is severed!
Garote is free!
"Yvonne! Wait!" he shouts as he runs to go catch her.

>west

STREET

Garote is here, frantically looking for something.
Stygian is here.
You see a large sweater in a tree.
Stygian appears to be roasting marshmallows -- by wrapping them in plastic and putting them under his arm.

>Say "Stygian, follow me."

Stygian replies "okay."
Garote spies the sweater.
Garote is hit with a blast of irony!
Garote dies!
There is a human corpse named Garote here.

>South.

EL CASA DE SENOR YANG

This is an opulent, 24 - storey mansion. There are ornaments and jewels all around.
There is a staircase here.
There is a Bag of Ca$h here.
There is Ten Cats here.
The Ten Cats yowls.
Stygian follows you.

>Prop corpse on staircase. Make it smile.

You set the corpse on the stairs, and put it into a smiley, greeting pose.
Stygian focuses strongly at the tip of the banister, and suddenly it is gone in a puff of flame!
The flame dies out.
The Ten Cats yowls.
The Ten Cats claws at your leg!

>Pick up cats.

You grab the Ten Cats.
Stygian shakes his head back and forth a lot.

>north.

STREET

You see a sweater, in a tree.
You see a human corpse named Garote.
Stygian follows you.
A Mutant, Bio-Mechanical, Zog's Rat staggers in from the east. It's hair is very frazzled-looking.

>Say "I wonder how he got out!"

As you shout the question, the Laundry, to the east, collapses.
Stygian watches, in awe.

>Shout "My laundry!"

A strange man wanders in from the west.
"Yes, ma'am," he says, "My name's M. Y. Laundry."
Stygian pulls out an Ingram submachine gun, and plasters the stranger to the wall of El Casa De Senor Yang.

>Drop the cats.

As you release the Ten Cats to the ground, it immediately bolts toward the Mutant, Bio-Mechanical, Zog's Rat.
The Mutant, Bio-Mechanical, Zog's Rat dissappears in a cloud of teeth, fangs, and fur!
Stygian looks up at the sky.

>wait

The Zog’s Rat is destroyed!
The Ten Cats seems more experienced.
The Ten Cats purrs over to you, and goes to sleep on your feet.
Stygian contemplates the meaning of life to himself.

>North

You can't. Your feet are stuck.
As anyone should know, it is impossible to move a sleeping cat.
Stygian yawns.

From Garote 9/4/96 11:48

>jump

You can’t. Your feet are stuck.
Zog enters, from the west.
“There you are!” he shouts.
The human corpse named Garote spontaneously combusts and sinks into the street.

>look zog

Zog is tall.
Zog’s mood is: Furry
Zog is wearing:
Black pants
an FLA shirt
a purple flannel
shiny new boots
Zog is holding thirty thousand dollars
Stygian attempts to climb the tree.

>ask zog to free me

He grins. “You know, this is the second time today? But that's good, because now I can show you my new boots!”
Zog swings his foot at the ten cats!
The ten cats disappears over the horizon!
You can move again.
Stygian manages to grab the sweater just before falling out of the tree in a rain of leaves and bark.

>say “nice boots, Zach”

Zog nods. “Oh, they’re rad! I’ve really wanted new boots, too. Oh, and I called the repair guy and someone’s going to fix our kitchen today.”
Stygian holds out the sweater. “Now why do you suppose this was up there??” he asks.

>take sweater

[taken]
Zog asks Stygian “Did you do laundry today?”
Stygian says “Maybe. If it’s done, it’s buried in the laundromat over there.”
Stygian points.
Zog gapes. “Shit!!!”

>look sweater

The sweater is long and purple, made of wool, and smells strongly of pheromones.
Zog asks Stygian “Did you do that?!”
Stygian says “It just happened! I wasn’t anywhere near it, I swear!!”

>say “Brad, follow me. You too, Zach."

"Sure" says Zog.
"Okay" says Stygian.

>east

Stygian follows you.
Zog follows you.

LAUNDRY RUINS

There is a collapsed roof here.
A cement path leads east. The road is to the west.
There are many laundry machine parts here.
There are clothes here.
Zog says “I guess we’ll have to walk downtown to do our laundry now.”
Stygian roots around in his pockets.

>look at laundry

Some of the laundry is familiar. Most of it is charred.
Zog swings his boot at a laundry machine part!
The laundry machine part disappears over the horizon.
“Damn, I love these new boots!”

>drop basket. Say “Okay, guys, let’s find our laundry.”

[dropped]
Stygian starts sorting laundry chunks into the basket.
Zog begins kicking all the washing machine parts over the horizon.

>find laundry

You find what could be half of a pair of Zog’s pants.
There is a muffled explosion from under the collapsed roof.
Stygian starts whistling “whistle while you work.”

>put pants in basket

Done.
Garote crawls out from under the collapsed roof. There are left socks clinging to his clothing.
"What happened?" he asks.

>say "something really ironic"

Zog has kicked all the laundry machine parts over the horizon.
Stygian begins to eat the remaining unsorted laundry.
“What was it?” asks Garote, picking socks off his arms.

>say “recognize this?” Hold out sweater.

Garote says “That looks kind of familiar. Whos is it?”
Stygian, his mouth full of charred shirt, says “Mmphoneff!”
Zog picks up two metal rods and begins drumming on the roof.

>Give sweater to garote.

Garote takes the sweater. Garote scratches his head.
Stygian swallows the charred shirt and stands up.
Zog is still drumming.

>get laundry basket

[taken]
Garote says “hmmm.” Garote holds the sweater to his nose and smells, deeply.
Garote says “uuuurhh!!” Garote drops the sweater.
Garote faints!
"What's with him?" asks Zog.

>say "It's a long story."

Zog says "Huh."
Stygian belches "I'll get you next time, gadget!"

Written by Stygian, 9/4/96 1:46pm

>Say "Well, does anyone have any quarters?"

Zog kicks a wall over the horizon.
Stygian mumbles about having put his last into the machines that are now somewhere over the horizon.
Garote wakes up.

>Say "We need to go to the laundromat. Let's see if Mr. Ya
ng's house still has some cash."

?EXTRA IGNORED
"Whafuu..." says Stygian. "Errr... yeah. We need some cash. Maybe we should see if Mr. Yang still has some more shoved away in that big house of his."
Zog shouts "Screw that! I'm gonna find more things to KILL!!!"
Garote looks around dazedly.

>[Fuckin' stupid parser! Goddammit! FUCKFUCKFUCK!] West.

STREET

Stygian follows you.
Garote follows you.
As you approach La Casa De Senor Yang, something strange starts to happen.
At first, you think it's an earthquake. But then you notice that it is only effecting La Casa De Senor Yang. The house tremors violently, and loud cracks and booms can be heard as little pieces of wood and masonry start to flake off the building, and it starts to crash in on itself. The shaking continues, becoming more and more violent, and large beams come smashing down off the wreckage. The ornamentation starts falling off. The huge gargoyles at the top of the structure fly off, along with much of the rest of the building. As the house crashes down, tumbling to the earth, you notice that something else is rising from the inside. It's another structure, but this one made all of dark stone and sharp angles. When the cacaphony finally stops, you are left standing in front of

MAO TSE TUNG'S SECRET HEADQUARTERS

There is a great mass of timbers and stone lying around the area, as you look up to one of the most huge and imposing structures you have ever seen. It looks like a cross between Picasso's worst nightmare and a Gotham City architect's bad day, with a bit of solid granite cliff thrown in. The gargoyles fly back and land on sections of the flying butresses.
Garote ogles.
Stygian strikes the pose of an art critic, and says "Hmm... nice choice of color."

>Enter building

[Go south]

FRONT ENTRANCE OF MAO TSE TUNG'S SECRET HQ

You enter the massive structure, and are immediately stunned by the sheer darkness and intensity of it all. The building is immense, and very nasty-looking. You are in a huge hall in the front chamber, and you can see three ways deeper into the complex, plus the northern exit.
The first door is a good bit bigger than it needs to be, and made of solid steel. It's set into the southern wall, on your left as you enter. Even though the door is huge, however, your eyes can follow the wall above it straight into oblivion, as it is much too high for you to make out in this darkness. The other door is on the opposite side of the chamber, and looks exactly the same.
The third route looks like a crevice in the face of a huge mountain. Set in between the doors, at the center of this hall, the stairway stretches up what looks like forever. The sides are all rough-hewn and could have been carved right out of a mountain.
Garote enters, and says "Oh. Cool! It's Doom!" and proceeds to sneak around from wall to wall in a kind of a quick-moving crouch.
Stygian follows you.
Stygian grins.

> Say "Wow".

Garote heads over to a rather small-looking object at the bottom of the stairway. It's a sign. It reads:
"
Anyone who enters here will have their flesh seared off, and their bones pulverized."
Next to the sign sits the corpse of Mr. Yang, smiling very happily.
Stygian tries to climb a wall.

Written by Zog 9/5/96 13:06

>Skin Corpse of nice Mr. Yang and wear it

EEeEEEEewww!!! That's sick and WRONG!

>So?

Weeellll...
You have nothing to skin him with. [So there!]
Garrett begins tip-toeing up the stairway in a manner akin to Scooby-Doo.

>Say, "Brad, skin the corpse of nice Mr. Yang."

Brad nods and says, "Okay!"
Brad sprouts fangs and claws extend from his fingers. In a scary montage of blood and flesh, Brad flies around the corpse like a styrofoam cup caught in a hurricane, all the while hacking at the thing and making noises, "Nyarf nyarf nyarf nyarf".
Brad ceases to move. He is covered in blood and toast, and holding something really, really nasty. It's probably the skin of Mr. Yang, but it's hard to tell.
Zog claps, then brushes some lint off his boots.

>Say, "Brad give me the skin." Wear skin.

Brad blinks, and gives you the skin.
The skin is rapidly biodegrading and shredding into little pink noodle ribbons. You would be wise to bundle up the skin like twine and plop it on your head, or something.
Someone bellows from upstairs, "POOKA!!!"

>Bundle skin. Give skin bundle to Zog. Say, "Zog, stuff skin in pants."

You bundle the skin.
Zog grins, happy as a little school-girl, and takes the skin.
Zog listens to you, and frowns. "But it's GROSS and smells like my rat," he whines.
A burning smell fills the air. Fire-light flickers from upstairs.
Somewhere, far off in the distance, a military drum sounds...
Brad echoes, "POOKA?"

Written by Garote, 9/5/96 16:27

>say “Fine, Zach, just eat it or something.”

Zog is taken aback. He looks doubtfully as the fleshy mass, and carefully samples a noodle.
“...Not bad!” he says, and stuffs a fistful into his gaping mouth.
Stygian is wiping his hands on his pants.
In the distance you hear a horrified scream.

>look zog

Zog is tall.
Zog’s mood is: Fluffy
Zog is wearing:
Black pants
an FLA shirt
a purple flannel
shiny new boots
Zog is holding thirty thousand dollars
Zog is chewing on a pile of bleeding viscous flesh.
Garote hurtles into the room from the stairway. His hair is white.
Garote jumps up and down, gibbering "It's HORRIBLE, it's TERRIBLE, it's it's ... actually AWFUL!!"

>say "Jesus, calm down! What the hell is it, Garrett?!"

Garote stops jumping and points back up the stairway. "... THAT!!"
Down the stairway floats the detatched head and shoulders of chairman Mao Tse Tung, blazing yellow fire out it's huge stone eyes. It bellows:
"VERMIN? IN MY RESIDENCE??"
Stygian stops grinning.
Zog drops his linen.

>


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