Garote's IRC leavenings

Late night on undernet's #ucd with flux, beer lover:

Thu, 24 Apr 1997 17:38:39 -0700
-> *flux*       beer  bottle[4];
-> *flux*           alcohol ounce="toomuch";
-> *flux* } drunkard;
17:05 *flux* haahhah
-> *flux* if ( ounce <= "toomuch" ) {
-> *flux*      tip_over();
-> *flux* }
17:06 *flux* bahahha
17:06 *flux* if(feof(fileno(STOMACH))) { barf(); }
-> *flux* eew
-> *flux* if ( guzzle(beer) && sip(wine) ) {
-> *flux*          fopen( mouth, O_PUKE);

Schizophrenia on #ucd with me and myself:

#ucd       garote    H (*Unknown*)
#ucd       Kit       H   ckwetzler@ (Kit Wetzler)
#ucd       dayZ      H (Daisy)
#ucd       notcool   G (Greg 'Learn to
+Swim' Gardner)
#ucd       flux      H*@ (Go Go Fluxilla)
#ucd       Z         H@d (For help type: /msg Z help)
#ucd       dweez     G@ (John Kinsella)
* garote scratches his ass
*** Signoff: dayZ (Leaving)
* garote hangs from a tree
<Pihkal> Hey Kit. :-)
*** You have new email.
*** garotski ( has joined channel #ucd
* garotski jumps up and down
* garote shakes Garotski's hand
<garotski> Oooh, a neighbor!
> You got it, brutha
<garotski> How's life?
> Stupid.
<garotski> How so?
> Well, you know what they say-
> when life gives you lemons, make lemonade
<garotski> And?
> I haven't got any sugar. And also,
<garotski> some people make lemonade without sugar.
> Oh.  Hmm.
* garote is nonplussed
<garotski> Live with it.
<garotski> What were you going to say?
> Oh nothing.  Forget it.
<garotski> Oh, great, get me all worked up and then drop it!  Dork!
> Oh, yeah?  So's your mother!
* garote socks garoteski
<garotski> Ow!!@!! JERK!
* garotski stomps on garote's foot
* garote elbows garoteski in the face
* garotski kicks garote in the shin
> Grrrr!!
* garotski smacks garote on the cheek
* garote pulls out a GUN
<garotski> Hey, whoah, hold it!!!!
> NOW you've done it!! GRR!!!
<garotski> Ahh, I'll bet it ain't even loaded
> Try me!
* garotski thumbs his nose at garote
> Oh HO!  That's it!
* garote shoots garoteski.   BLAMMM!!!!!
<garotski> arararahrrhrgghrhghhh!!!!
*** Signoff: garotski (Read error to garotski[]: EOF from
> MwahahahahahaahhhH!!!

A Moonlight Walk with Lutana in #dreams:

<garote> sometimes I really hate this world.
<lutana> and me?
<garote> I like you.
<lutana> woohoo!!!!
<garote> I like many people.
<garote> But I guess I carry too much of it on my back.
<garote> I'm just having a bad day I guess.
<lutana> can i go for a piggy back ride?
<lutana> hehehe
<garote> SUre, hop on.  We'll go for a walk.
* lutana climbs on and wraps her legs round garotes waist and clings to his neck
<garote> mmm warm.  light too
<lutana> i don't eat enuff
<garote> Neither do I.
* garote steps out into his apartment parking lot with lutana
<garote> It's sorta cold, for a night in Davis.
<lutana> yup
<garote> usually it's muggy and bleh.
* garote walks to the intersection, and up Arthur street on the sidewalk
* lutana bops along
* garote looks at the moon
<lutana> me?
* lutana reminds garote that she is the moon
<lutana> well.......
<garote> I guess you could be two places at once
<lutana> mmmm??
* lutana hits her head
* lutana hugz garote from behind and puts her head on his shoulder
* garote turns right on Russel and passes under a long row of tall oak trees
* lutana looks up
<garote> See the bats?
* lutana clutches garote scared
<lutana> ahhhhh
<garote> Don't worry.  Bats are harmless up there
<lutana> where u taking me?
<garote> I'm going to the biking road that connects Russel with the gardens.
<garote> It's nice there.
* lutana smiles and relaxes
<lutana> describe?
* garote turns left, onto the biking trail.
<garote> Parallel rows of oak trees arch over, into the distance
<garote> It's night here
<garote> The sun will be up in about half an hour, but it's still mostly moonlight.
<garote> No one's around and, away from all the city lights, we can look up between
the branches and see the stars
<lutana> gawd you're calming
<garote> Outside the rows of trees runs an old barb-wire fence, leaning in the grass-
which would be yellow in the daytime, but looks almost lunar blue right now
<garote> Occasionally a bird lands on a tree and calls, but otherwise it's silent
<garote> The bike trail is flat and straight, and freshly paved and black.  The wind
keeps it free of leaves, though there's only a breeze now.
<lutana> wow that sounds beautiful
<garote> ... just another place ...
<garote> but you're here on my back, nice and warm.
<garote> and someone to talk to :)
<lutana> another place? u make it sound so beautiful
<garote> It is nice, yeah ...
<lutana> u go here often then?
Khanius [] has joined #dreams
<garote> I jog and sometimes end up here, at around 3 in the morning.
<garote> There usually aren't this many trees in Davis... this trail has about 80%
of 'em I think.
<lutana> thats sad
<garote> Yeah, it's in the center of a flat valley.
<lutana> there are sooo many trees here
<Khanius> back!
<lutana> hoiya khan
<garote> The trees were imported.
<lutana> hehehe nice
<Khanius> hey lutana
<Khanius> hi garote!
<lutana> we live in the country so we have lots of native trees and stuff
<lutana> very peacful too
<lutana> you'd like it
<garote> I bet I would.  I grew up in Santa Cruz, which has many trees too.
<garote> I'm moving back to the area in a couple weeks...
<lutana> u'll still be logged on wont u?
<garote> Yeah, I'll borrow my friends internet access.  No problem.
<garote> Well, there's your piggyback ride - we're here!
* lutana jumps off
<lutana> how shall i repay u?
<garote> Listening to me jabber on has been payment enough
<lutana> i could do it all day
<garote> heh- it'll be day here soon, in about 1 hour
<lutana> yeh

A high-brow discussion in #ucd:

*** Log file opened: 3/11/98 2:15:16 PM
garote [~garrett@tsb-08.UCSC.EDU] has joined #ucd
<Bob> Hey Kit: Did I tell you the gym story from the other day?
<Bob> That some guy farted HARDCORE behind me and this cute girl and her trainer were looking at me like *I* did it?
<irwin> Oh, yeah, sorry about that man.
Bob saw her at Chapparal last night and proclaimed his innocence to this girl. Ummm I made a fool out of myself (but it was fun)
<irwin> You are probably the only person I know who would go out of his way days after the fact to proclaim to some random person that you did not, in fact, fart.
<Bob> Well, it was kinda a good conversation starter, ya know? :D
<Bob> So now when I see her in the gym I can say hello :D
<irwin> "Hey baby... you know that wasn't me who farted..."
<Bob> More or less
<irwin> "Nono, last thursday. Yeah, it was that other dude"
<Bob> Oh, she knew what I was talking about
<Bob> She was laughy and giggly about it so I didn't feel TOO stupid, but I made a fool out of myself
<irwin> I see.
<irwin> See, me, I fart and forget. If other people want to remember my farts for days afterwards, that's their problem.
<Ail> She was probably drunk, doesn't remember your explanation, and will forever remember you as "that farting guy"
<irwin> People fart. It stinks. Life goes on.
<Bob> You're a better man than I, 'win :)
<irwin> If someone else lays a fantastic ripper, I say to myself, "God _damn_ that stinks..." and go back to what I was doing.
<Bob> But irwin, you had to see this girl and her trainer staring at me! Then she said somethign to him like "Well at least I didn't do it" or somethign
<Bob> I felt |----| big :D
<Kit> that's pretty funny, bob
<Kit> she probably *did* do it
<Kit> :)
<Bob> Oh no way. I don't htink she COULD have
<Bob> It was an atom bomb. Seriously.
<irwin> Heh.
<Bob> I almost had to leave the area and go spit up in the water fountain it made me so sick
<irwin> You should have looked them straight in the face and said, "Daaayum, I better not eat _that_ again."
<Bob> lol. Naah. Then I'd be Grant
<Ail> hehe
<irwin> "Wooo-ieee, them possums sure pack a punch"
<Bob> This girl was seriously cute, too. Great smile
<Kit> I dunno, I've smelt some pretty raunchy chick farts. :)
<elbobo> *chuckle*
<Luis> ugh...
*** Log file closed: 3/11/98 2:40:49 PM

Terrible snack foods in #bob, with Zog, Justin, and Garote:

<guysmiley> after the orchestral loop bit, you hear GODZILLA! **MmmmrrRREEAAAUUU!!!*
<guysmiley> it's so perfect :)
<guysmiley> Thonk, thonk! Thonk! Thonk!!
<guysmiley> Thonk like a thonk!
<NivekOgre> Oooo! Trolls compiles with 110 warnings and 0 errors!
NivekOgre runs it and finds a bug
You are now known as Guido
Guido only walks now
<Guido> Hrrmm.
Guido fixes a bug and recompiles
<guysmiley> hmm
Guido runs it
Guido finda TWO MORE bugs
Guido fixa them uppa
<guysmiley> i'm about to record the last lyrics
<guysmiley> namechange: zach is now known as happy zach
You are now known as happy_zac
guysmiley is now known as Guido
You are now known as Loogie
Guido is now known as Princess
<Loogie> Eya! Guido! Have-a some PASTA!
Loogie smacks the Princess with a large rubber dildo
<Princess> You loogied in it! Eeeewww!
<Loogie> har har
Princess makes a funny sound effect! Hra hra!
You are now known as Bowser
Princess is now known as Butt
<Bowser> GRRR!
<Butt> I am a butt.
<Bowser> GRRR!
<Bowser> uh.
<Butt> I am still a butt.
<Bowser> GRRRR!
<Butt> You can call me all the names you like, it doesn't change the fact that i am very much what I am, and proud of it.
Bowser kicks some butt
Butt is now known as Breeder
<Breeder> oops, no, that's a mistake
<Bowser> Breeder7142944 - you need a serial number
Breeder is now known as yacht
<yacht> hahahahahahahahaha
You are now known as money
<money> Hahah!
money evades your grasp
<yacht> d'oh!
You are now known as GORGAR
You are now known as SNARFBLAT
<SNARFBLAT> Awww, I typed /nick -at-nite, and it said "ERRONEOUS NICKNAME"
You are now known as grotey-Os
<yacht> haha
<grotey-Os> Every one needs a snack cracker named after them.
<grotey-Os> I hereby dub you
<grotey-Os> Zog Thins
yacht is now known as ZogThins
ZogThins {tm}
<grotey-Os> HAHAHAHAH
ZogThins is your salvation
grotey-Os {r}{c}
grotey-Os taste poorly in milk
<ZogThins> Ingredients: Crap
grotey-Os contains known carcinogens
<ZogThins> Warning: Do not eat
<grotey-Os> hahahhhahahahahh!
<grotey-Os> Hmm. Justin.
<grotey-Os> Justin Wheats?
<ZogThins> Justin a la carte
<grotey-Os> Baked Justins?
<grotey-Os> Ooo!
<ZogThins> smokable justin lights
<ZogThins> mmm mm
grotey-Os is the snack cracker for all occasions
<ZogThins> except this one
grotey-Os goes great at weddings, bar-mitzvahs,
<ZogThins> funerals, in-flight movies
grotey-Os won't ruin hands while it softens dishes!
<ZogThins> sewer spelunking, open-heart surgery
<grotey-Os> Especially.
<grotey-Os> "Dude! You vomited into the hole!!"
<Grotey-Os> Hmmm.
<Grotey-Os> Stygian Cakes.
<ZogThins> Kafween Muffins.
<ZogThins> hahahahahaha
<ZogThins> Stygian crumpets
<Grotey-Os> THose have got to be the worst tasting cakes on the face of the planet
<ZogThins> straight from the abyss! MMmmm
<Grotey-Os> Baked Kafweens
<ZogThins> Nobody does them like KAF-a-WEEN
<ZogThins> Kafween a'grautin
<Justin> Yo! Justin-Case-Yer-Hungry-O's.
<ZogThins> mmm
<ZogThins> justinetti-o's
<Justin> Ah!
<ZogThins> flaming zach bars. "you'll pee fire!"
<ZogThins> hahahaha
<Grotey-Os> Justinetti Bars!
<Grotey-Os> Zach Sprach - rises in the oven!
<Justin> Oof.
<Justin> 14 errors! 10! 9! Clean compile! Huzzah!
<Grotey-Os> WHooo!!
<Grotey-Os> You go, grille!
Grotey-Os still gets 104 warnings on trolls, but doesn't care. They're all stuff like "conversion may lose significant digits"
<ZogThins> haha
<ZogThins> "this operation might do something"
<Grotey-Os> "possibly incorrect assignment"
<ZogThins> "i might be confused"
<ZogThins> "do I look fat?"
<Grotey-Os> I got it!
<Grotey-Os> Kath-wheets!
<ZogThins> BWA HA
<ZogThins> Plump, succulent stygians
<Grotey-Os> *URP
<Grotey-Os> basted in glucose...
<ZogThins> Garrotini pasta
<Grotey-Os> Garoticelli!
<ZogThins> heh
Grotey-Os fixes ANOTHER bug
ZogThins overdubs his own voice AGAIN
Justin goes GRRR. Out, damned bug!
<Grotey-Os> "Hit ye thumb as hard as ye can, and jes' chunk it."

If anyone knows who else I should credit for these various excerpts, please drop me a note, and I'll link in the proper acknowledgements...

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