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Q:
|
Ah, hello, double-oh-seven, we've been working on some new devices for your next mission.
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JAMES:
| Mmmm, yes, actually, I've been meaning to talk to you abou--
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Q:
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This bikini bottom, for example, is actually filled with a cyanide dispersal system! You simply wedgie yourself like so-- [HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS]
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JIM:
| AARRRRRRRcoughRRRGGGHHHHH--
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Q:
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Oh, yes, I'm sorry, I nearly forgot! Here, 007-- partical filtration noseplugs. Let me help you put them in...
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JIMMY:
| NNNNNNNRRRRRGGGGHHHH--
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Q:
|
There, how's that?
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JIMBO:
| NI'm nine, nank nou.
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Q:
|
Well, that's about enough of this, I think... (RIP) There we are, clean air. End of the swimsuit, though, I'm afraid.
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JIMBOB:
| (Removing noseplugs) Q, I've really--
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Q:
|
And here, some new footwear for you. Try these on for size. (Hands BOOTS to JAMES)
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JIMINY:
| Nice fit, actually; Q, in all seriousne--
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Q:
|
And look here: (pulls out ZIPPO, lights BOOTLACES, which start to burn, then turns away and starts walking towards the car) DETCORD laces, connected to 25 grams of PETN high-explosive in the soles--
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JAMESTOWN:
| AAAACK!!! (scrabbles at boots)
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Q:
|
--and a small fire supressant cartridge in the tounge.
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JACK:
| (Squishes boot tongue a couple of times; white foam sprays and stops laces from burning) (*sigh*)
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Q:
|
Now, 007, your new car.
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JACK:
| Hmmm? Oh, yes, where is the new car?
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Q:
|
(pulling curtain aside) Right here. Our own special Dodge Aries K and Pinto hatchback hybrid. 92 horsepower, top speed sixty miles per hour, capable of accelerating 0 to 60 in 10.5 seconds, balsa wood roll cage--
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JAMES:
| Did you say sixty miles per hour?
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Q:
|
And here-- hidden in the dashboard, a self-destruct mechanism.
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JAMES:
| Explosive charge?
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Q:
|
No, a springloaded hammer behind the gas tank, just in front of the rear bumper.
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JAMES:
| Air bags?
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Q:
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Yes, the rear passengers should be quite well protected.
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JAMES:
| Rear passen-- what about weaponry?
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Q:
|
Ah, yes. You see this blue knob here? This is linked to an electromagnetic pulse cannon, located just behind your battery, in front of the fuse panel.
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JAMES:
| Q--
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Q:
|
And now, double-oh-seven, the last item on our list-- a vodka martini; shaken, not stirred.
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JAMES:
| (eyeing it carefully) What's this for?
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Q:
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Why, for when you go and talk to M, of course-- you're going to need it.
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