See how much you are like Garote!

2026 Version

Is curiosity your biggest personality trait?
Though the word has taken a beating from the manosphere, do you still call yourself a feminist?
Do you believe that mind-altering drugs actually erode and distort one's perception of reality, rather than augmenting it?
Do you dislike most organized religion?
Are you a secular humanist?
... and somewhere between a materialist and an atheist beneath that? (There is no 'spiritual realm' whatsoever)
... do you enjoy a good haunted-house flick regardless?
Do you think the so-called theory of "intelligent design" is neither intelligent, nor a theory?
Do you honestly have no trouble admitting when you're wrong, and gravitate towards other people who act this way?

Have you ever shaved your head?
... habitually enough to have "OI!!" yelled at you by some punk rando on the street?
... at the request of a romantic partner?
Does your body like to get up at about ten, despite your valiant attempts to teach it to rise earlier?
Do you bust out various accents when you're joking around, or reading aloud? (Southern, Scottish, Cockney, Austrian, Russian)
Have you ever grown your hair longer than shoulder length?
Does the clutter of knick-knacks drive you bonkers, compelling you to only keep a few?
Do you deeply dislike perfume, cologne, scented soaps, and scented detergents?
Do you hug your friends hello? (Boo on this austere hand-shaking business!)
At night, in an unpopulated place, do you pee outside on the road or in the bushes, instead of using the toilet, just for the excuse to get some fresh air?

As a teenager, did you suffer from cystic acne that wrecked your self-confidence?
Has a (probably former) romantic partner ever accused you of being "too wacky?"
Do you believe the idea of a "soul mate" is hogwash, and we have many fantastic potential partners?
Is arrogance a massive turn-off for you in a romantic partner?
Have you learned first-hand how the vast diversity of individuals drowns out any collective difference between the sexes?
Are you mostly heterosexual?
Are you a sucker for a tomboy haircut?
Have you ever shaved your genetalia, at the request of a romantic partner?
... habitually?
Do you suspect that learning how to approach and pet cats as a young person influenced your body language around romantic partners as an adult?
Do you like giving oral sex more than receiving it?

Can you cook a thai-style yellow curry?
... without looking at a recipe?
... is dark chocolate where it's at? (Milk chocolate is, like, not even chocolate!)
Do you spend altogether too much money on really good coffee?
Have you maintained a vegan diet - except for honey - for four or more years of your life?
Ever drained a 7-11 "Super Big Gulp" by yourself?
Do you eat bell peppers like apples?
Do you dislike the taste of beer?
Have you learned to appreciate wine in social situations, but not enough to get through a whole glass?

Did you identify as a computer nerd while growing up?
As a computer nerd, did it take you a long time to develop any sense of fashion?
Have you named all of your computers? (Loaf, Tin-Loaf, LapLoaf, Loaflet, Tune Loaf)
Have you programmed your computer?
Have you evert cheated in a computer game using a method the designers did not intend, e.g. editing saved games or making a map editor?
Have you played Nethack?
Have you ever played one computer game for FORTY HOURS straight? (the game: the original 'Civilization'. ADDICTIVE.)
Do you enjoy playing various hand drums, but can't quite handle a full drum kit?
Can you whistle a variety of tunes?
Have you developed some skill with camera hardware beyond the smartphone?
Do you adore cats?
Can you make a purring noise like one?

Do you strongly identify with the character of Alice, in Alice In Wonderland?
Are you familiar with the Discworld?
... Have you read through the entire Discworld canon?
Are you an avid consumer of non-fiction audiobooks? (Podcasts don't count!)
Do you listen to wordless music for large chunks of your creative time?
Do you listen to Pink Floyd?
... Tori Amos?
... Nine Inch Nails?
... They Might Be Giants?
Do you like to sing along to music while driving?
Do you loathe the idea of subscribing to a music "service" and instead have a DRM-free music collection?
... has your music collection grown beyond 100GB?
... has your music collection grown beyond 1000GB?

Do you like camping?
Do you enjoy body-surfing in the ocean, with or without a "boogieboard"?
Do you enjoy walking around in fancy cemeteries, day or night?
Have you ever lived out of a converted van, for more than a week in one go?
On a road-trip, have you ever driven more than 1000 miles before sleeping?
Have you ever blown up an aerosol can in a fire?
Ever used a lit road flare, held in a glove, as a torch on a walk? (You need the glove. They drip burning wax. If you get any on your hair you have to cut the hair off.)
Have you ever shaved your legs in order to play a role on stage?
... I assume the role was Doctor Frank'n'Furter?
Are you in a band with two or more of your friends?
... could it be classified as "Industrial Humor"?
Have you and friends made a home-movie with a descernible plot?
Have you ever ridden a horse?
Have you ever fired a shotgun?
Have you gone on a multi-day bicycle tour?
... In a foreign country?
... Alone?
... And camped along the way?

Have you ever been bitten by a dog?
Have you ever had a close-up encounter with a bear? (For example, less than ten feet away.)
Have you ever been fired from a paying job?
Ever been dumped by an established romantic partner (someone you're sharing living space with) over email or text message?
Ever run out of gas by accident, when driving a car?
Had your bike stolen?
Had your car stolen?
Been in a fistfight?
Fallen down in a mosh pit?
Had an infection so severe it required prescription antibiotics?
Sleepwalked in the middle of a nightmare, and woken up in some other part of your house?
Farted so loud it woke your partner up?
Did you struggle with (possibly undiagnosed) ADHD as a child?
... have the coping mechanisms you learned while fighting it turned it into a superpower?
... are you grateful that medication wasn't available at the time, because you would have definitely used it to avoid that fight?
Was there a lot of depression in your childhood?
... did you learn to manage, harness, and eventually reconcile with it?
... do you think the process made you a lot more understanding towards other depressed people?